


in the listening

by thisissirius



Series: a different language [4]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Deaf Character, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: “Are you sure about this?” Aaron asks.They’re in the middle of the pub, it’s packed, and Robert’s down on one knee.Robert’s probably justified with his, “Are you kidding me right now?”





	in the listening

**Author's Note:**

> written for @wafflesofdoom who loves deaf!verse more than i do. also for everyone who has ever loved it, liked it, or just read and appreciated it. i love each and every one of you and i am not worthy <3
> 
> i tried to remain respectful of people's deafness, and their reasons for remaining so, or for choosing to get a cochlear implant. robert's choices in this fic are his own, and aren't meant to tell a story on what i think/don't think deaf people should do. the deaf community have a right to their own choices and beliefs <3

“Are you sure about this?” Aaron asks.

They’re in the middle of the pub, it’s  _packed_ , and Robert’s down on one knee. 

Robert’s probably justified with his, “Are you kidding me right now?” 

Aaron flushes, hates this so much and Robert  _knows_  that, but he’s not getting to his feet. They don’t do this, they don’t make a spectacle of their relationship. Except for their get together. Their breakups. Everything else about them.  _Still_. 

 _Rob_ , Aaron signs. 

 _Aaron_ , Robert signs back, with just a little bit of emphasis, and kind of awkward considering he’s holding a ring. 

“Say something!” Aaron’s mum yells from the bar.

“He hasn’t asked yet,” Aaron says aloud, and signs, for Robert’s benefit. 

Robert’s lips quirk up. “Aaron Dingle,” he starts, and Aaron will never get tired of hearing his voice. “Will you marry me?”

Aaron swallows, doesn’t know what to do with his hands. “Dunno, let me think about it.”

There’s a split second of  _horror_  on Robert’s face, and then it ripples into disbelief. 

“I’m kidding,” Aaron says, wrapping his hands around Robert’s wrist before he can pull away. “Yes, of course  _yes_.”

The last is a sign and Robert almost stumbles to his feet, grin so wide it looks like it must be hurting, but he takes the ring out of the box. It’s silver, plain and simple and  _perfect._

 _“I love you_ ,” Aaron signs, ring catching the light.

Robert grins, presses in for a kiss while there’s the obnoxious sound of whooping and clapping. “I love you too,” Robert says, against Aaron’s lips. 

 

 

 

“I’m proud of you, love,” Chas says, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s forehead. 

He pulls a face, always will because it’s his mum, but the only kisses he wants are from Robert. Still, he accepts the hug and when they pull apart, he grins. “Not what you expected for me, eh?”

“Hoped,” Chas says slowly, with wet eyes. “Can’t believe it’s with Robert Sugden, but he’ll do.”

“He’s great, mum.” Aaron’s voice is low, like it’s a secret. It isn’t, he would scream it to Robert every day if he needed to, but it feels like something private between them. 

“I know, love.” Maybe she does; she knew sign before Aaron, would speak to Robert the way he wanted to, not the way she thought he should be spoken to. He loves her for that, loves for showing him how easy it was to do things for people you love. 

“Thanks, mum.”

Chas waves him off, patting his cheek gently. “Just make sure you get married here, yeah? No eloping.”

“As if,” Aaron scoffs, even if the idea has merit. 

 

 

 

Vic’s happy for them; she demands to be able to supply the cake, and neither Aaron or Robert are gonna fight her on that front. 

Adam’s gonna be Aaron’s best man; he’s already decided, asked, and informed Robert. 

Robert’s torn; he wants Vic, but he wants Andy, and there’s whatever this is that he’s building with Vanessa. 

“You need to be comfortable with whoever it is you choose organising your stag do, their speech, and everything else. Would you trust that with Andy?” Aaron asks, one night before they fall asleep.

Robert stares at him, something uncertain in his eyes. He curls into Aaron’s arm, finger tracing Aaron’s bicep. “ _I want Andy, but I don’t know if I want him because he’s my brother, or if I feel guilty.”_

Aaron sigh, buries his nose in Robert’s hair. “ _Guilty for what_?” Aaron asks, fingers sliding against Robert’s palm.

“ _Blaming him for mum,”_ Robert tells him. 

“ _Look at me.”_

Robert raises his head, reluctantly, and rests his chin against Aaron’s chest. 

“You’re allowed to blame him for that.” Aaron rubs his thumb over Robert’s cheek. “You’re allowed to still hurt about it. That doesn’t make you a bad brother. And it doesn’t mean you have to make him your best man.”

“I know,” Robert says. Then he traces Aaron’s palm with his fingers. “ _It would be you_.”

“I know,” Aaron says, leaning in for a slow, careful kiss. 

“ _Vic_ ,” Robert says slowly, forehead pressed to Aaron’s. “ _She gave me you, after all.”_

 

 

 

The wedding plans go quickly. 

They don’t want to wait now they’ve decided to do it; the village is drawn in, and it’s all Aaron can do not to hide himself away in the portacabin and never come out. It doesn’t help that Robert’s been quiet and withdrawn. 

Aaron doesn’t think it’s about Andy; the morning after their talk, Robert had been happy, making them breakfast, asking about Liv and whether she’s coming. 

By the time he gets home, he’s quiet. It’s not about Aaron; he’s every bit as attentive and happy as he usually does, but there’s something subdued in the way he behaves. 

“Alright?” Aaron asks that night over dinner, squeezing Robert’s wrist gently. 

Robert gives him a bright smile. It’s not his  _please believe me_  smile, but a genuine one. It doesn’t sooth all of Aaron’s worries, but whatever it is isn’t  _bad_ , so Aaron lets him have this secret. 

 

 

 

A few months before their wedding, Robert finally confesses what’s been going on;

“ _I need to go into hospital,”_ he signs. 

Aaron’s heart lurches. “ _Why?”_

Robert sighs. He rests his hands on the table, so Aaron knows whatever he’s going to say, he’s going to do so aloud; either because it’s easier, or that it’s a long explanation. “There’s a complication with my hearing,” Robert admits slowly. “I need surgery to make sure that everything’s working as it should and that I’ll continue to be okay.”

“What will happen if you’re not?” Aaron asks slowly. 

“ _I will be,”_ Robert promises. He leans across, curls a hand around the back of Aaron’s neck and squeezes. “It’s routine, Aaron. I’ll be fine.”

“You better be,” Aaron presses. It’s been a long time since Robert’s said anything about the medical affects of his accident, but Aaron knows there’s something there. “I’ll come with you.”

“No,” Robert says, pulling back. 

Aaron brushes aside the hurt. “Why?”

“I don’t want anyone to see me like that. I never let Vic in and I don’t want you to come in with me when you can’t  _do_  anything.”

“Robert, if we’re getting married-”

“I love you,” Robert says quietly, and it’s emotional enough to make Aaron’s anger weaken. “I want you to be there with me, but this is something I have to do alone. Please be there when I wake up.”

It’s not what Aaron wants, but he’s learned to compromise. 

“Of course I will,” he says eventually.

Still, he’s not happy until he can pick Robert up from the hospital, part of his hair behind his ear shaved off, and what is obviously a surgical scar covered with gauze. 

“Alright?” Aaron asks gently, leaning down to kiss Robert’s forehead. 

Robert’s groggy, but happy to see him, fingers resting against Aaron’s hand gently. “Love you.”

“ _Love you too,”_ Aaron signs. 

The doctor makes sure Robert’s alert enough to understand him, before he parts with a, “I’ll see you in about eight weeks.”

Robert leans heavily against Aaron as they walked out to the car, and leans in. “ _Have to have a check up_ ,” he signs, sloppy and slow. “ _That’s all._ ”

“Alright,” Aaron agrees, affably. Once Robert’s settled he falls asleep instantly. Aaron rubs his thumb against the gauze. He keeps his touch gentle, so as not to hurt Robert, and tries not to think about what’s happened there, whether or not there’s anything more Robert is going to have to suffer. 

When they’re married, he promises himself, pulling out of the car park, he’s going to make sure Robert’s suffering has an end as best he’s able.

 

 

 

The day creeps up on them quickly. 

Three days before they’re due at the church, Robert bids goodbye to Aaron. Robert gives him a hug and a kiss, his hand twisted tight around Laika’s lead. She’s busy sniffing Dave, the two of them whining low at being seperated. Robert sighs, but gives Aaron a smile. “I’ll see you in three days.”

“You sure about this?” Aaron asks. They’re not joined at the hip; Aaron’s confident he can survive three days, but he just doesn’t know why it’s happening this early. Vic’s been secretive, a small smile on her face when she’d told Aaron her plans, but Robert seems at ease with whatever it is. 

“ _I’ll be fine_ ,” Robert signs. Vic’s got his bag over one shoulder, and Laika’s food bowl in the other. “ _I’ll see you in three days, Mr. Sugden.”_

The name sends a thrill up Aaron’s spine. He’ll be keeping his surname, but still. “Yeah,” Aaron says. “Mr. Dingle.”

Robert snorts, pretends to look disgusted, but there’s a happiness and  _want_  in his eyes that makes Aaron certain that he won’t mind being called it again.

Before he leaves, Robert catches Liv’s eye over Aaron’s shoulder. It’s not the first time they’ve met, but it’s the first time Liv’s had to deal with the longevity of their relationship. So far she’s been accepting, for all that’s angry and sullen, but her and Robert are  _good_.

“ _See you later, Trouble.”_

Robert’s sign for Liv is  _trouble_  mixed with  _sister_  and every time Aaron thinks he can’t fall in love any more, he’s wrong. 

Liv signs something back that has Robert laughing, affection obvious, and then he’s leaving. As soon as the door shuts behind him and Laika, Dave trots over to Liv, settling his head on her knee and whining again. 

Aaron watches him, then turns his attention to Liv, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

Liv’s looking at him, intense and unquestioning when she says, “He’s good for you.”

“Yeah,” Aaron agrees, and then gestures at the phone. “Wanna grab a pizza tonight?”

 

 

 

The morning of the wedding, Aaron rolls over on the too empty bed, one hand splayed in the space Robert usually occupies. It’s the last day he’ll have to contemplate a life without Robert, and he’s not sorry to see it go. Robert’s the best thing he has in his life bar Liv, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to keep it that way. 

There’s a knock on his door, and Liv pokes her head round. “You ready to get married?”

Aaron gives her a soft smile. “Eh. So so.”

“Whatever,” Liv says, rolling her eyes. “You’re so soft. Get out of bed, lazy, and get your suit on.”

Aaron waves a hand at her, but waits a few minutes before actually rolling out of bed. He’s getting  _married_  today. 

He’s tried to keep the radio silence that Robert’s been adopting the last couple of days, but he sends a text anyway;

_You better be at that church, Sugden_

Tossing his phone on the bed, he ducks into the bathroom to have a shower. The butterflies in his stomach are expanding a little, but there’s mostly a sense of want thrumming through him. He never thought he’d have this; boyfriends, sure. Relationships that lasted? He’s always hoped. But Robert’s something else, something permanent. 

Aaron’s never loved anyone the way he loves Robert. 

When he makes it out of the bathroom, wrapping the towel tight around his waist, his phone was lit up with a message. 

 _i asked you, idiot. of course i’m gonna be there._  

Aaron grins to himself, and looks at the suit hanging on the back of his door. It’s blue, Robert’s favourite colour on him, and he can’t wait to see Robert in his own deep maroon; every inch the attractive,  _ridiculous_  man who let Aaron call him good looking for months without correcting his naming conventions. 

Aaron’s been fucked since the moment he tried to pick him up at the pub all those years ago.

 

 

 

Adam’s waiting at the church, looking every inch the idiot he is, but he wraps an arm around Aaron’s neck. “I’m proud of ya, man.”

“Whatever,” Aaron grumbles, shrugging his arm off. “You did it first.”

“Yeah, it’s alright for you to do it now, innit? Though why you gotta pick  _Robert_ ,” he starts. 

“Oi.” Aaron punches him in the side. “That’s my husband.”

“Not quite yet,” Liv says from the doorway, and there’s something mischievous about her smile, and about Chas’. 

“What?” Aaron says, his eyes narrowed. 

“Nothing, love,” Chas says, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s get you married, yeah?”

Aaron stays suspicious all the way out to the aisle, where Robert’s leaving the room opposite, and there’s something different about him. Aaron can’t put his finger on it, because he’s mostly distracted; the maroon suit looks really good on him, and he’s smiling so wide. Aaron can empathise with that; his chest is tight with emotion and he’s so desperate to be at the alter, to marry already. 

They meet in the middle, Diane and Chas taking a step back, and Aaron slips an arm around Robert’s waist. 

They don’t speak; Aaron wants to, but Robert’s got his eyes front, and Aaron signing against Robert’s palm is something just for them. Harriet’s waiting at the end, her smile wide, and she actually signs  _Ready?_  at them. 

Robert looks pleasantly surprised, and Aaron squeezes his hand. 

Diane and Chas take a seat, Laika and Dave on the floor in front of them, tails wagging. It had taken a lot to convince Harriet that Dave deserved to be there to, but she’s a softy at heart. Liv’s got a hand on Laika’s head, scratching behind her ears, and Aaron can’t handle the rush of emotion at seeing everyone; his family, here, and he’s about to make it  _forever_.

Aaron feels like the ceremony rushes by; he can hear the occasional sniffling, sees his mum with tissues, and Vic’s mascara has already run. Harriet’s talking, every sign she uses is stilted, but she’s trying, and Aaron can see that Robert appreciates it. 

When it comes to the vows, Robert goes first. 

“For a long time,” he says, voice thick with emotion. He’s actually talking, not even attempting to sign, and Aaron doesn’t understand why; he thought they would - “I didn’t think I would ever find someone who loved me for every part of me. Including this,” Robert says, waving a hand at his face, but he means his deafness. “But then you came along. You learned sign for me. You gave me a job. You loved me.”

Aaron doesn’t know what to do with his happiness, his pleasure at the words, even as he squirms to have them said in front of everyone. He’s too happy to care. 

Except Robert’s not done. 

“I wanted,” he starts, then catches Aaron’s hands, clings hard. “I lied to you.”

There’s a ripple, and Aaron’s breath catches.  _No_.

Robert’s lips quirk up. “I didn’t go for a check up.”

He turns to right and Aaron sees it;

There’s a hearing aid tucked against his ear.  _That’s_ what looked different. 

Robert swallows, looks nervous for the first time as he squeezes Aaron’s hands. “I wanted the first time I heard you to be here, in this room.”

“Hear me-” Aaron says.

Robert fiddles with the hearing aid. “It’s an implant.”

The church falls away; everything but  _them_ , and Aaron can’t believe this, doesn’t know what to say. 

_You always said you would never-_

_Why didn’t you tell me-_

_Robert-_

_“_ I wanted the first thing I heard to be your vows,” Robert tells him, and this time there’s no mistaking the ripple from those gathered in the church. Aaron wants to slap Robert for lying, wants to kiss him for this, loves him so, so much. 

“Robert,” Aaron says, and there’s something on Robert’s face, the way he’s looking at Aaron, eyes wide, awed, and he touches Aaron’s face gently. 

“Say it again,” he says, breathless.

“Robert,” Aaron says again, braver, leaning in to Robert’s touch, so fucking happy he can’t  _stand_ it. “Robert, I love you.”

Robert’s crying before Aaron can start saying his vows. He’s crying through them, cries through  _I do_  and only stops when Aaron pulls him in, kisses him hard, never lets him go. 

“I love you,” Aaron says. 

 

 

 

Later, when they’re in their hotel room, sticky and sated from sex, Robert curls against Aaron’s side. 

“ _I don’t want to use it all the time,”_ Robert signs.

Aaron tips Robert’s chin up, rubs a thumb against his cheek. When Robert’s eyes land on his face, Aaron gives him a smile. “I don’t care. It’s your life, Robert, your hearing.”

Robert huffs a laugh. “I saw your face when I could hear you-”

“For you,” Aaron interrupts, grip on Robert tight. “Robert, I don’t care if you can hear me or not, understand? You’re still my Rob.”

“ _So if I never turn it on again,”_ Robert signs. “ _You wouldn’t care?”_

Aaron rolls them over, presses Robert into the mattress and frames his face with his hands. “Listen to me, Rob,” Aaron says, gently, making sure Robert’s tracking his lips. “I love you. If you choose to wear it, great. If you don’t, even better. I like what we have. You didn’t have to do this,” he says, brushing a finger over the implant.

“I did it for me,” Robert admits slowly. Then, places his fingers against Aaron’s palm. “ _I wanted to hear you say it, even if it was only once. For that moment. I wanted it. I don’t want to be fixed. It’s not the same, it’s not - it’s not like when I could hear and I_ hate _it, I didn’t lie about that. But I wanted to hear you.”_

Aaron nods, leans in for a kiss, two. “Whatever you decide won’t change anything.”

“Alright,” Robert says, breathless. “How’d I get so lucky, eh?”

“Dunno,” Aaron says, cheekily. “Not like you deserve me.”

Robert laughs, wrestles them over until Aaron’s pressed into the bed, and leans in for a kiss, two. “You’ve married me now, Dingle. Too late to take it back.”

“ _As if I would_ ,” Aaron signs slowly, and something in Robert relaxes, every line of his body easing and Aaron never wants this moment to end. “ _I love you_.”

It doesn’t mean any less like this, where Robert can’t hear it, than it did in the church, and it shows on every inch of Robert’s face. 

“ _I love you too_ ,” Robert signs back.

A different language to the one most people are used to, Aaron thinks, as he draws Robert in for another kiss, hips rolling slowly against Robert’s, but not one they’re ever going to give up. 

**Author's Note:**

> catch me @ [sapphicsugden (my ed blog)](http://sapphicsugden.tumblr.com) or my [main](http://thisissirius.tumblr.com).


End file.
